


Trees are Better than Flowers Anyways

by TimX



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heidi's POV, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 16:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11718447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimX/pseuds/TimX
Summary: Heidi tells the story of her son, Evan Hansen, going through one of the worst cases of the Hanahaki disease she seen him go through.





	Trees are Better than Flowers Anyways

**Author's Note:**

> Just experimental writing and trying to get a feel for Heidi's character. I'm going to say this now but I do not plan on continuing this. I am willing to show other people's perspective or make another story with happy endings but not continuing. Sorry.

Heidi can proudly say her greatest achievement was her son Evan. What made it better is that Evan was also like her in both appearance and personality. Heck her baby boy had both the parents' intelligence. Crazy smart. He was even a Mama's boy which absolutely melted Heidi's heart. Unfortunately, Evan shared something of hers she wished he didn't. That was her and some of her family (most on the female side) have a weak immune system to a disease called Hanahaki.

One formed from unrequited love which would eventually lead to death if not taken care of. The victim will start coughing and hurling flowers and other bodily fluids. It was a slow, horrible, and painful death. Painful both physically and emotionally. This can be treated with surgery (with the feelings connected to this person gone permanently) or the other falls in love.

Since Heidi and now Evan have such weak immunity to this. Hanahaki forms a lot easier than for others. For others they have to be very much in love with them and chance for it to happen. For the Hansen's though it will happen no matter what. But it is very much easy to get rid of. They can get fall out of love. Its unlikely for them to be head over heels for someone. So much they can't stop the feeling. Unfortunately, some of Heidi's family did have to get surgery. Unfortunately again, most committed suicide afterwards. The flowers grew in deep when it was bad and took some other emotions out. Even if it was temporary it was such an emotional strain most couldn't get used to. Heidi had to get surgery for her husband but was happy that it wasn't deep enough to remove her love for her precious baby.

Evan had the disease for most of life but always very weak. He always seemed to have a crush on someone and with a total of 11 since he turned 18. A few breaks in between. It was easier in elementary, he only had 8 crushes for all 6 years there and they only lasted for a week, a month at worst. Middle school was harder. A total of 3 but each lasted for around a month or two. One lasted for the entire school year. That being his best friend Jared. He was horrified by this that time. So scared and it hurts Heidi knowing that her son was so scared of ruining his friendship. Jared learned of Evan's disease by this time and stuck relatively close which worsen the symptoms. Luckily Evan got over it. Or Jared fell in love but Heidi will never know. It just stopped one day. And neither knew why. It took a while to then realize that Evan wasn't in love anymore. But sometime in highschool it got worse. Apparently of a girl Heidi never really knew about. Her name was Zoe Murphy. She had heard of the Murphy but just not the daughter it was actually the son. She met him one in the hospital and recommended some books for the poor kid. Still it wasn't anything to worry about. Heidi just went to go get some suppressants and hoped that they'll help Evan.

Then it stopped in Evan's senior year. Evan was so happy during this time. He brought over a new friend who even signed his cast. It was the other Murphy kid but Heidi kept quiet about them already meeting especially since she saw some sort of excitement in Evan's eyes as he introduced his new friend rather awkwardly and nervously. Heidi showed one of the happiest smile she had. She was so happy. Evan was doing alright. He had now 2 friends to make sure he was safe when she couldn't.

Time kept going and it seemed that the two grew incredibly close. Though Heidi realized that she made Connor uncomfortable. She was more observant than people gave her credit for and her having a socially anxious boy she made sure to fine tune these skills to make sure her son was comfortable in the house. Although she can realize these things that doesn't mean she always knows what to do. In fact she is quite bad at comforting people. Or really giving helpful advice but she does have a comforting presence. Either way she wanted to make Connor know that she was good with him. In fact she thought he was a a wonderful addition to their family. And so she decided to be blunt about it. She didn't know Connor's mind too well and so being blunt was the best way for her to go without screwing this up. And so she asked Evan to ask Connor if he can come over for dinner. She was happy when he said yes. Afterwards when Heidi asked for Connor to help her and for Evan to set up his room for the sleepover they were having she said what she thought about Connor.

"Thank you so much for being in my son's life. Thank you. He's so happy and you're welcome here anytime. I must say I even think of you as one of my own if you don't mind. " Heidi chuckles a bit as she says this to Connor privately. Connor looks at her surprised and he starts to fidget. Heidi just smiles brighter and then Connor stops and he smiles as well and relaxes.

"That. That uh means a lot Ms.Han... I mean Heidi. That means a lot. "

She was so happy during this time as well. Her work allowed her more free time as well. Hanging out with Connor and Evan was always such a treat for her. Even just hearing the two just laugh in a different room set her heart a flame. She was calm and started to believe that they were finally going to be alright. That now everything was okay.

Until half way in the school year during winter break Evan started violently coughing up flowers again. It was the worst she ever seen him in. Evan refused to tell her when she asked who it was so she dropped it. Only just trying to help her baby. The suppressants didn't work anymore and it only got worse as days went by. She spent hours trying to let Evan sleep and calm him down. It was so painful for both of them. She remembers hugging her boy and rubbing circles on his back as he hurls flowers. Then for one week he had to skip school. Evan went to the doctors and they said that this was something he won't be able to get over. That he should probably confess and get the surgery later on. It was a grim day. Evan couldn't eat too much or drink. He could barely sleep. And soon Evan started to look like death itself. She was horrified by all of this and yes she knew how horrible it is. She just didn't know what to do.

"Evan you're going to get this removed in a month. "

"Wait Mom please don't. "

"I can't let you live like this! I'm am sorry. You can't die because of this! I can't lose you. "

"And I can't lose him! I don't want to let go of this. Even if it hurts. Please. Don't."

"I know that it hurts! I had to remove those flowers for your father. I know that it hurts and you don't want to let go of all the love in your memory but please understand that this is for the best. "

"I'm so scared. I don't want this. "

Heidi hugs Evan as she tries desperately to just stop all of this. Why? Why to her son. To the only thing she holds dear anymore. They both cry that night.

"I'm so sorry Evan. I'm sorry. I love you. With all my heart."

Evan sobs even harder.

Another day Evan told his mother that he told his friends about his condition. It wasn't his 2 closest friends, Jared and Connor. It was 2 girls who he never really talked about before. Heidi was happy that he had 4 friends now.

"I told them what I have."

"The Hanahaki?"

"No just the symptoms. Well they dont actually know. "

"Evan..."

"Wait please just let me say what happened."

_"What if you had some of the happiest memories that made you sick?"_

_Alana and Zoe looked confused._

_"Its just a metaphor. I'm trying to figure something out."_

_The two shrugged and gave him the go._

_"Like you feel loved. " the two smiled "It doesn't have to be romantic but platonic as well. It makes you happy. But you have you get rid of it. Or else you'll die. You'll start coughing and hurling. So much you're suffocating. It gets hard to breath. Soon you can't eat or drink. You are in so much pain at night you'll barely sleep. Do you get rid of it? What do you do?"_

_"That is a dilemma." Alana mutters._

_"This is all hypothetical right?" Zoe asked warily._

_Evan laughs a cheerful one. "Of course it is! Sorry this is the only way I know how to phrase it."_

_The two girls look at each other then Evan. They don't see past his lie._

"What did they say sweetheart?" Heidi asks.

"Well. All I know is that I'm going to keep living. Even if its scary." Evan smiles a sad one.

Heidi hugs him again and mutters a "Thank you.

In a month Heidi sees all of his friends in the waiting room. Zoe was crying as Alana hugs her saying, "This wasn't suppose to be real. This wasn't suppose to be real." Over and over again. The two boys are sitting across each other looking anywhere but each other and the area Evan is in. Heidi takes a seat closest to the door. She puts her head in her hands as she waits for her son to be alright. She hears someone walk closer to her but she doesn't make a move.

"I'm so sorry Heidi. I'm really sorry."

Heidi keeps her head in her hands. "Please just continue to be his friend. " She didn't need to look up to see who it was. She knew it was Evan's crush. She let tears drop down from her face. It wasn't his fault but she still blamed him.

When Evan was well enough to see them she watches them all hug him and apologize for various reasons.

_Not realizing_

_Not being there_

_To keep this a secret even when it got so bad_

_For not loving him_

Evan just stares at them with emotions drained. He smiles a bit but it quickly goes away.

Heidi looks at the group of friends wondering how they'll get over this. She knew Evan won't feel anything towards one. No love, no friendship, nothing. So she just crosses her arms and looks away. She can wait. She is just happy her baby is alive and better. Now he won't suffer through the Hanahaki again. Still it hurts to look at the friends. Things will change, permanently.

Heidi was sorry as well. For passing down such a horrible disease.   
Later that night Evan and Heidi eat some homemade dinner. They both smile at each other ready to be moving on from this experience. Ready to be going on with life.

Heidi understands that Evan going to grow distant with her for a while. His emotions are drained and it will take a while for them to come back.

But no one knew that if they waited just a bit longer everything would be alright. That there was a red string connected to Evan. That they would eventually love each other. Even now the string connects the two together only it fades to an ugly dull black as it goes closer to Evan. The string starts to thin out. The red string knotted to their fingers grew loose and fell. Another one not ever going to appear again.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and critics are very welcomed here!! Please just no hate comments or whatever.


End file.
